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When are you returning?
I honestly don't know.
Why are you doing this?
The blog or the journey? lol The blog is so that the people who love me know that I'm safe, but the journey is another matter.
I've noticed a lot of confusion surrounding my journey. Some think I'm "looking for answers," some think I'm on some kind of hippy high, and some think I'm joining a cult.
Since I was a kid, I have noticed other's suffering. In particular, I remember watching my mother struggle as she took care of me in my early life. As an adult, I have seen multiple people struggle to understand the worth of kindness, love, and compassion; failing to see how it benefits them. I would fall to anger and frustration not understanding why they didn't get it.
And then one day it hit me... I had an unbelievable compassionate grandmother and grandfather. A Christian pastor and wife. They were everything Christians should be. They practiced what they preached. My grandmother in particular. It is hard to describe a woman like that. She someone found the light in you and brought it to the surface. You would somehow find yourself being much more kind you ever imagined you could be. In a sense, she made everyone realize his or her Buddha nature.
I realized not everyone has met someone like this and that is the reason why basic principles of kindness don't make sense to them. So, the answer became clear. I need to become grandma. Problem is: how the hell do I do that? Grandma was an OG. This is why I have turned to Buddhism. I believe the Buddhist practices lead to amazing changes in your nature.
My current definition of self is: I am whatever I need to be.
What I hope it becomes : I am whatever you need me to be.
If you practice Tibetan Buddhism, why are you going to Nepal and India?
Tibet was invaded by China, so the monks I wish to receive teachings from are currently taking refuge in Nepal and India.